Thursday, June 25, 2009

Real Southern Routes

There was a land of Cavaliers and Cotton Fields called the "Old South." Here in this pretty world, Gallantry took its last bow. Here was the last ever to be seen of Knights and their Ladies Fair, of Master and of Slave. Look for it only in books, for it is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the wind...

- From the opening of the film Gone with the Wind (1939)

For Elizabeth

MiniFour years ago, my best friend, Stewart Bacheler, and I took a road trip from Florida to Houston to visit my sister and her husband, who had just undergone a bone marrow transplant for AML. Fortunately, that transplant was successful and he remains in remission today. We had a great trip and vowed to do it again one day. Stew and I have known each other since before high school. On Friday morning, June 12, we took ourselves up on that vow and ventured out to visit Enterprise, Alabama and Natchez, Mississippi. This time, we tried to avoid the Interstates by taking U.S. Highways and a few back roads instead, at least on the way out of town.

Now, before you ask me why Enterprise, let me tell you that during our last trip, we weren't hauling any drugs. This time, between the two of us, a mere four years later, I'm surprised every drug-sniffing dog throughout the deep south wasn't chasing after us, although every one of them came with a doctor's prescription. Except for supplements. You name it, we had it for heart, cholesterol, blood pressure and, suffice it to say, prostate problems. Something told me we would be stopping more often because of our... going problem. Fortunately, there were plenty of convenience stores for when we felt the urge.

Dave&StewWhen we first discussed the trip, I was amenable to going anywhere. I said there must be places you'd like to see that your wife is not all that interested in. I mean, every wife and husband are allowed to continue having their own interests. Sure, he said, and we spent the entire time in strip clubs we read about on-line. Just kidding, because we never actually set foot in one. To be truthful, Stew spent some Army time at Fort Rucker in Enterprise, home of the world famous Boll Weevil monument in the town square. Word also has it that Enterprise is the Peanut Capital of the World, or so Stew and some of the natives told me upon arriving. I also found out that the monument is the only one in the world erected to honor an insect, an agricultural pest to be more precise. It seems that by 1918, farmers were losing entire cotton crops to the pesky critters and an "enterprising" businessman saw this as an opportunity to convert the area to peanut farming. The rest is history. In Coffee County, no less. Today, the statue stands as a testament to the power of positive thinking by turning bad news into a happy ending. That little bug put Enterprise on the map. By the way, I'm the younger looking guy on the left side of the picture.

hs morgan mall artABV motelboll weevil monumentWhen we rolled into town, we took a few side trips to see some of Stew's old haunts. Before we left he checked out some places to stay and had a printout of motels nearby. I made a few phone calls to get a good deal and we ended up staying at the Roasted Peanut Motel, where every guest gets a jar of its Worldboll weevil plaqueFamous Delicious Boll Weevil Peanut Butter, chunky or smooth - your choice! Actually, that's not true. We stayed at Americas Best Value Inn & Suites and we didn't get any peanut butter, chunky or otherwise. It's a very pleasant place and the folks who run it are extremely friendly and accommodating. As a matter of fact, all along the trip everyone was very friendly and I will personally vouch for the intangible quality often referred to as Southern Hospitality.

While in town we needed a place to relax and have dinner since that was about the time we arrived. Stewart used to eat at a Mexican restaurant but he figured it would be long gone by now, 35 years later. He drove in the general vicinity and found theMorgan Square Shopping Mall. "Yes, it was in here..." We took a peek.

Nope, it was gone, but in it's place was the Italian Euro Bistro, so we decided to give it a try. It was the funniest menu, too, because it was mostly made up of Italian and German dishes. I've never seen a restaurant that served cuisines so vastly apart from each other, but it was a good place and our server, Michelle, was very friendly to a fault because every time we spoke to her she called us SIR. Here was a pretty girl, a former Army MP from Hawaii, now living in Alabama. It helps that her military family retired in Enterprise. If you ever find the place, please say hello for me and don't forget to try the garlic knots.

The next morning, we set out to find us some peanut farmers. Of course, we had to eat first and darn if there wasn't a Waffle House right down the street from where we stayed. We sauntered in and bellied up to the counter to order some grub. There was a good old boy sitting a couple of stools away and he overheard us talking about Stew's military background and my brother's visits to Iraq. Bruce was his name and he was a nice fellow. Born and raised in Enterprise, he works for Anfab, some sort of military provider, like helicopter pads and stuff I'm not familiar with. As we were leaving, I told him to be on the lookout for my article on peanut trees.

"Peanut trees?" he exclaimed.

Peanut Tree"Yes, peanut trees." Unfortunately, ol' Bruce is not Internet savvy, so he won't be able to read about the trees we did end up taking a gander at, but he knew they were there and he was the one who told us where to go, all hush-like. The funny thing is, when we got there we couldn't take any pictures of the trees because they have something to do with some sort of military application - peanut cluster bombs and top secret bio-fuels for jets - but the kind farmer did give us directions to a tree we would be passing on our way out of town. We stopped and I snapped a picture. Peculiarly, it looks very similar to a pecan tree except it has peanuts on it. Unfortunately, we didn't come during the harvest season and none of the goobers left on the tree were worth eating. Oh well, next time.

church2church1When we left town, we took U.S. 84 all the way to Natchez, Mississippi, figuring it would be the most scenic route. It was pretty, alright, and there were nice, rolling hills along the way with lots of green trees to look at. Along that route, we passed two side by side churches and stopped. I liked them for Andalusia1Andalusia2their quaint and comfortable look. They had a prurient appeal to me, having grown up in a small church in rural New Jersey, where my grandfather preached.

As we were passing through Andalusia, also in Alabama, we stopped and I took a couple of pictures that kind of tell you the story of how malls and big box stores have hurt businesses in downtown areas throughout the years. Of course, the economic downturn hasn't helped, either. Quite obviously, this was once a thriving town and I could just feel the presence of a very proud spirit in this community, still filled with hope and the American dream. As we got back in the car and slowly drove off, a nice lady asked us if she could help us find anything. Her friendly demeanor spoke volumes and it was a testament to the tenacious nature of the town's citizens.

oil pumpOne of the interesting things we noticed along the route were road signs that warned us that we were entering police jurisdictions because I never knew there were any areas of the country that didn't have that luxury. Nowhere did I see any signs that said NO POLICE ALLOWED! There were also signs that said we were entering city limits and I'll be darned if I could even find a town in sight. About a half hour or so before we got to Natchez, we saw a working oil rig-a-ma-jig, whatever it's called.

It was a long journey across most of Alabama and all of Mississippi, but after about seven and a half hours, we wheeled into Natchez, home to many beautiful antebellum homes. I've always been impressed by Greek Revival, Classical Revival and Federal style architecture, probably from my high school days and when I watched Gone with the Wind on a History class field trip, but also because it reminds me of the Civil War, something that's always fascinated me. There's a certain sadness about the south I just can't explain other than to say that old plantations and slaves were a part of our American heritage and growing up in the north, I never got to see cotton fields and other things indigenous to the south, like magnolia trees. It was a sad day when this war ripped at our very fabric and unfortunately, someone had to lose. Fortunately, pockets in the south are still rich in culture and Natchez stands among the best.

Why this picture turned out so good is beyond me. Nowhere else was the river this blue.
Why this picture turned out so good is beyond me. Nowhere else was the river this blue.

down to casinoisle of capri casinomississippi1As we entered the city, we bee lined it to the Mississippi River along the western edge. All of Natchez is quite a bit higher than the river and we found a road leading down to a little area bustling with activity. There were houses, storefronts, and the Isle of Capri Casino Hotel. Since we didn't mississippi2bridge to vidaliacome to gamble, we didn't. The casino is on the water because of state laws prohibiting them on land and it is designed to look like an old fashioned steamboat or paddlewheel. Real steamboats still prowl the river, but not while we were there.

The great Mississippi is abridge to vidalia2majestic river. It's the second largest in the country with a length of 2,320 miles from its source in Lake Itasca in Minnesota to its mouth in the Gulf of Mexico, near New Orleans. I guess it's always inspired me because of its size and the fact that I could be stepping in it in Natchez while my brother is doing the same thing in St. Louis. Growing up reading Mark Twain may have had something to do with it, too, Huck Finn and all. Here are a few pictures I took. We took the bridge from Natchez to Vidalia, Louisiana just for kicks. Plus, I wanted to view Natchez from the other side. After taking a peek, we stopped for gas. I asked the girl behind the counter what there was of interest to see in Vidalia. I knew that the onions with the same name come from a county in Georgia.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"No, nothing."

"Oh. What about the onions? Do you sell them here in town?" I knew it was a trick question, but she was right on top of it.

"Yeah. When they're shipped in we do." I took her word for it that Vidalia, Louisiana was not much of a town and I figured she'd just as soon move away if only her gallant prince would ride in to buy a bag of out of state onions.

"Oh well, have a nice day," and off I went. Alas, I wasn't her prince.

whirlybirdcockpitfrom whirlybirdOne of the things we noticed by the river was a helicopter, but it looked a lot more like a whirlybird. It was right there in the open. No pilot was in sight and it looked ripe for the taking."C'mon, Stew. Let's take her for a ride."

"Oh, I don't know about that. You've never flown one of these things before."

"Look, they're really quite simple. Let's go." We hopped inside and I revved her up. Stewart remembered me from my days of playing Army, but that was 37 years ago.

How I managed to start the thing, let alone fly it and land, is beyond me, but we got safely back to the right spot and no one ever noticed it was missing, but I must admit there's one less bird flying around Natchez.

Now, it was time to eat dinner, despite both of us losing our appetites. I had picked up a nice, glossy visitor's guide earlier in the day and noticed a place called Fat Mama's Tamales. It was a fun place with good looking women and very good food to match. I had the signature tamales and they were delicious. It looked like a regular hangout kind of joint and that's always a good thing. It did make me wonder why there wasn't a place in town called Natchez Nachos, though.

house1house3house6The next morning we had already decided to see some of Natchez's finer sites - the houses. I also noticed on the visitors guide that there were two cemeteries adjacent to each other, above town and overlooking the Mississippi River in some areas. That was added to our list of things to do, along with house6 stewtouring at least one house.

We started out and Stew decided to criss cross the city. I will just show pictures of the houses because we didn't really know anything about them until we met Don.

On the red brick house with the white pillars, I went uphouse6 doorDonDon's Househouse4the steps to take a picture of the massive door. One of the things Stewart told me was that the plantation owners had houses on their properties, but they owned homes like these in town for social functions andhouse5house7for winter months when crops fell silent. These were built to show their wealth and stature. Of course, back then Negro servants cooked and took care of the children while doing other chores. Many of these homes were built in the late 1700s to the mid 1800s. Today, some are private residences and others are house8B&Bs.

The guy in the picture is Don. Just to the right of him is his house. We were still just driving around when I spotted the place. It was ornate in a different sort of way and I could tell it needed a lot of work.

"Hey!" I said. "Let's stop here. I like this place. It's got a certain feel to it. Plus, it's for sale."

"Sure, but what do you care if it's for sale or not?" Point well made. There was no way I could buy it and I didn't have the money anyway.

house9We pulled up to the curb and got out of the car, trusty cameras in hand. Suddenly, I saw some stirring on the front porch. The gentleman walked to the left side of the house, down the steps and over to us.

"Hello," he said in a friendly tone of voice. We responded. "Are you interested in the house?"

"Well, yes," I said, "but not in buying it. We're from Florida." And with that, he began to tell us of his work as a professor at the University of South Florida.

"In economics," he added. I asked him about property values in Natchez. We talked about how bad it is in Orlando."Well, let me put it this way. Before all this, the house was worth almost $300,000, but today, it's listed for just under $170,000."

"Wow, that's a big drop. I notice you have a few broken windows upstairs, like in the attic."

"We keep the upstairs closed off. I had cancer and I just got done with chemo and radiation. I don't have the energy anymore to do the work. That's why it's for sale."

Stew and I both remarked how good he looked.

"Yeah, and I didn't lose any hair, either."

Stew asked him about places to see. Where are the best 'do not miss' spots in town? He told us a number of things and I was hoping that Stew was paying more attention than me because I couldn't remember it all until he mentioned Dunleith. "Yup, Dunleith is the most photographed house in the country. More so than the White House."

"Really? The White House?"

Most definitely. Well, Stew and I put that place on our list. He said that one was a nice one to tour and so was Longwood. Meanwhile, a car pulled up and a lady got out. We told him it was great meeting him and I told him my name. "It looks like you have a prospect."

"Yes and I'm down to my last flier. I've got to get more printed. I'm Don." I don't remember his last name, but we had firm handshakes between us and said our good byes. He was a true gentleman and I hope he sells his house.

At that point, we decided to take a look at the cemeteries and then swing back to tour one of the homes he suggested.

cemetery1I don't know why I've always had a fascination with cemeteries, but I do. I especially like the above ground crypts like you see in New Orleans. There's a certain eeriness about them. Maybe, it's because I'm on the same level with all those bodies instead of looking down at the ground and seeing grass. Plus, I realize that every body in there was once a living, breathing soul and most of them made some sort of impact on life and those around them. What did they do? Where did they live? What were living conditions like back then? Would we have been friends if we grew up in the same era? Those sorts of questions have always intrigued me. Where are you now? Or are you? I don't have a strange fascination with death, it's just the people who once were. The best cemetery I ever visited was St. Louis #1 in New Orleans. Yes, it's kind of creepy and no, I wouldn't especially want to hang around there at night, but I'm not easily spooked, either.

It is with dignity for the deceased when I step into their world and where they now reside, body-wise, anyway, and it was with Stewart when we walked through that New Orleans cemetery, so this was appropriate that it would be the two of us again. Natchez has two; the Natchez City Cemetery and the Natchez National Cemetery for veterans. The pictures will give you an idea about how the townspeople respect their dead.

mausoleumCSA Unknown Soldierscemetery_moses&mina haasThe mausoleum where Stewart is standing had no door, only a metal gate that was chained shut. I poked my head up and into the tomb as far as I could and said a few words. Booooos were more like it. Stew said that when he had done the same thing at another cemetery, his wife got upset with him, like he was disturbing the dead. If I was disturbing anyone, they didn't yell at me to stop. All I heard was a faint echo of my voice. And I sure hope I wasn't rattling any bones.

The picture with the small tombstones was the final resting place for unknown Confederate soldiers killed during the Civil War. I remembered visiting an old cemetery in Shiloh, Illinois, a few years ago and seeing Union soldiers buried there. I wonder why so many of our boys had to go fight in a senseless war. All wars are senseless to me.

The final picture in the cemetery series was taken because I liked his name. There lies Moses Haas next to his beloved wife, Mina, resting peacefully under a shade tree for all eternity.

After reading names and dates, it was time to move on to the final chapter of our trip to Natchez, to tour one of the houses. We were rather intrigued by Don's mention of the house that's been more photographed than any other, so we decided to take a look at Dunleith.

sharecropper houseAs we started to come back down the hill, we noticed two buildings that, for sure, looked like sharecroppers houses from days gone by. I took pictures of both but I figured one would be enough to give you an idea of what home life might have been like for hard working slaves grueling every day in the hot and humid climes of Misissippi. This was probably a step up to many of them.

Dunleith

Dunleith (1) is a very special and grand house. Called Routhland, the original structure was built in the late 1700s by Job Routh and his wife, Ann Miller, but burned to the ground in 1855 after lightning struck one of the chimneys. This house was built in 1856 and how it came to be known as Dunleith is an interesting story and by clicking the numeral one next to the highlighted name, you can read about it. Today, the upstairs and annex are part of a bed and breakfast. The buildings are set on 40 acres in the outskirts of town. Dunleith is a very good example of Greek Revival. 26 Tuscan columns surround the house. I got a kick out of some of the houses I saw in town. Sometimes, you couldn't tell whether you were coming or going since the front and back were just a bold and powerful. I guess, in a sense, it's like the White House because no matter which side you look at, it's just as impressive.

When we got there, we parked toward the back side and entered where room reservations are made. The very accommodating lady told us if we hurry upstairs, out the door and up the rear steps, we could make the tour, ready to start in about 5 minutes. We had already asked her how much it costs.

"Seven dollars, but if you're over fifty-five it's six."

"Bingo! That's us. Do you want us to pay you now?"

"No, you can pay when you're through." That's how trusting people are in the south. We scampered up the stairs and eventually ran into Judy, our tour guide, waiting for us at the back door.

Judy_Dunleith tour guide"Why don't you walk around this porch and meet us at the front door." We obliged her and by the time we got there, she was coming out of the front door.

"Hey," I exclaimed, "you look just like that pretty lady we just met out back!"

"That was my twin sister, Trudy," and with that, she started her tour. Others were sitting on cozy rockers on the shady porch as Judy beckoned us inside. The huge door weighs somewhere in the neighborhood of 800 pounds.

Miss Judy was a delight. She took us through the downstairs rooms and explained in minute detail the intricacies involved as each owner added their personal signatures on interior designs. What was interesting, yet didn't surprise me at all, was the French influence overall. Without adding another thousand words to my account of what we saw and heard, let me just say it's worth the six or seven dollars to tour this magnificent structure. I took several photos inside the house, in spite of the sign clearly stating NO PHOTOGRAPHY INSIDE THE HOUSE, but I had permission from the master tour guide herself.

"This was meant for times before we had those new digital cameras," she said when I asked. "As long as you don't use the flash, it's fine." Unfortunately, I hadn't had a chance to read the instructions, since it was new, and a lot of them didn't turn out right as you will see in my last photo in this Dunleith series.

Dunleith original ownersThe portraits are of the original owners, Mr. and Mrs. Job Routh, dating from the late 1700s or early 1800s. There was a portrait of a former slave who ended up being a fairly powerful man about town, given that the slave owner recognized his intelligence and sent him to school. There's a unique history to this house and it's well worth reading about. There are several outbuildings. One is a restaurant and it looks similar to a castle. These buildings are thought to be a part of the original house, Routhland.

One of the stories she told is about horses kept in the basement during the Civil War. Brought there to hide them from the Union soldiers, the owner, Alfred Vidal Davis, used special glasses to get the soldiers drunk. We passed around a book showing the unique design and noticed their rounded bottoms. You see, Davis knew that by serving alcohol in those glasses, the soldiers could not set them down, so he kept pouring and pouring and by the time they got drunk, they left, never finding a horse in sight to pilfer away from him or his plantation. Oh, those dumb Yankees... being outsmarted by Mr. Davis himself. Incidentally, it was Davis who renamed it Dunleith because of his Scottish heritage.

If you look closely at the main picture of the house, you'll notice stairs to nowhere to the left (and in front) of the SUV. What are they, you might wonder. In the days of horse drawn carriages, they helped the ladies step out and down to ground level, and while I'm mentioning carriages...

Dunleith2Grant's CarriageWhen we finished with the tour, we spent a little time talking to Judy and another couple before going back to pay our tab. I asked Stewart to drive around back to see the restaurant and some of the other buildings. One in particular that Judy had mentioned was the carriage house. You know we have come a long way as a nation when we elect an African American president and a Yankee general's carriage sits on Rebel land because inside that carriage house, Ulysses S. Grant's carriage was on loan. Sadly, the photo I took of it proves how inept I was at taking some of the pictures. I was used to my larger camera. This one was a lot smaller and not as easy to hold still at times. Oh, progress. In any event, that was our last stop except for the Subway shop we hit before leaving town.

We decided to take U.S. 98 to where we expected to spend our final night, in Mobile, Alabama. This way, we got to see other small towns and also, to pass through Hattiesburg, near the Alabama border. We wanted to at least get to Mobile so it wouldn't be such a long trip home. Stewart needed to get home by Monday night to let the dogs out since his wife, An, left that morning for Atlanta. About a half hour away from Mobile, we stopped for gas and to find out where we could get the best deal on a room. When I asked the rather beautiful girl behind the counter, she was very helpful. My goodness, she almost looked like the perfect picture of a southern belle until she spoke. Too bad her parents never taught her how to take care of her teeth, but she did send us in the right direction a few miles ahead, just off I-65, which made it very convenient for hopping on I-10 in the morning, our route home. On our last trip, we made up stories of our motel room stays and it was quite funny, with An threatening to leave Stew because of our silly, made-up bedroom antics. Of course, we had to make up something new this time so when he called her from our motel room, he said that we ran out of money and the nice manager of a McDonald's said we could sleep in our car in the parking lot, since they had wi-fi and all and we had brought our laptops. This upset her to no end and when she insisted on us getting a room - in fact, she asked exactly where we were so she could find one and put it on her credit card - he told her he was only kidding and she chose not to believe him. He told her to call the room number. That night, we went to a Japanese steakhouse and met a family from Germany. You know those places where you sit around the table and the chef comes to cook before your eyes? Anyway, they had been in the United States for a year and a half and it was interesting to listen to a Kraut speak English with a Deutsch and Alabama drawl. Yee Häw!

scarlettWell, there's the story of our trip. My only regret is that I never became a dentist, because if I had, I would have asked that girl to leave town and come back to Florida with me. Oh well, next time I want to go to Charleston, South Carolina and Savannah, Georgia. One of these days I might just meet my Scarlett O'Hara.

On second thought, never mind, because here in this real world, I'm getting old. I've got pills to take. Those days are no more than a dream remembered, a part of me now gone with the wind...

The End

To see Stewart's Photos of the trip please click HERE

Mini dash

©2009 Dave Knechel

Saturday, June 06, 2009

A load of bull

When I moved to Orlando in 1981, I got a job as a hardline artist for an ad agency. We represented the Belk Lindsey department store chain and by hardline, I mean I drew items sold in the stores like shoes, stereos and household items. Back then, department stores carried a larger assortment of goods, not just fashion and accessories. I could not draw clothes worth a hoot. Today, what little advertising that's left for dwindling newspapers is predominantly done through photography. Hardly ever do we see hand drawn art. I also designed and built the ads that ran in various newspapers throughout the state. Previous to that job I was mostly in the restaurant business. Soon after I started working there, I saw a sort of fast food place up the street called Beefy King. Since I had come from a background in that industry, I thought it would be nice to meet these people. We soon became good friends.

One of the interesting, if not quirky, aspects of my job was break time. My boss, good old Mr. Stone, insisted that we come in at 8:30 in the morning, but we had to take a break from 9 to 10. Strange, but that was the way it was. Pretty much every morning I would drive up the street to Beefy King, make myself a sandwich and pour a cup of coffee. Sometimes I'd help slice meats or whatever, but most of the time I'd stand at the front counter reading the newspaper. They weren't open that early, so I wasn't getting in the way of customers.

One morning I went in, there was a short, chubby man working on an ice machine that had broken down. Seemed like a really nice fellow. The next morning he was still working on it. On the morning of the third day, as he was finishing up, he and the owner, Roland Smith, were standing in a hallway between the dining area and the back room, probably working out the bill. He whispered to Roland, "Hey, that guy up there. He's been here every morning just standing there reading the newspaper. What's he do for a living?"

Now, the acoustics were just right and I heard every word of it. He didn't know. Roland said, "He's a professional newspaper reader."

The guy said, "No way. There's no such thing."

"Well, if you don't want to take my word for it, go ask him."

I was standing there, seriously reading my paper, acting oblivious, when he sauntered up. He very politely said, "Excuse me."

I looked up and in a face that showed great concentration, as I was very deep in my work, replied, "Yes?"

"Well, I've been here three days now and I see you reading the paper. I was just wondering what kind of job you have. What do you do for a living, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Why of course not. I'm a professional newspaper reader."

"No way. I've never heard of such a job."

"Yup. That's what I do."

"No kidding! Well, I'm from Florida. Born and raised. What's the name of the newspaper in Leesburg?"

"Which one? The Commercial or the Gazette? Plus the Orlando Sentinel has a zoned edition."

"No kidding! Alright. What about St. Augustine?"

"The St. Augustine Record."

And so it went. No matter what location in Florida he asked about, I had an answer. I knew because we advertised all over the state and ad sizes varied from newspaper to newspaper, meaning the designs came in different sizes.

"I can't believe this. No kidding? Well, I'll be. I've heard it all now. I can't wait to tell my wife this." And with that, he hopped in his van and drove off. For at least a week, Roland and I got the biggest chuckle out of it.

With the huge downturn of advertising and subscriptions in today's newspapers, I wonder if that guy ever worries about me. If I ever run into him, I'll have to tell him I'm a professional Internet surfer.

Monday, May 25, 2009

A Memorial Day Worth Remembering / Andy Rooney On How Memorial Day Should Be Celebrated - CBS News


This is a commentary Andy Rooney did for 60 Minutes. It originally aired on 29 May, 2005, and I think it's about the best piece he's ever done.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Fidelity

Except for a few unmemorable moments of my, somewhat, feckless and reckless youth, I have always been safe around women. I think I am aging like a fine wine.

This is a little tale about me. It's not really a story, it's just one of life's many experiences and it helps define a person and what they feel inside. For the sake of anonymity, I will call my two friends in this story Dick and Jane.

I've known Dick and Jane for a long time and we are pretty close. We might see each other every two weeks now, sometimes more often, sometimes less, but the fact remains, we are still good friends. I think the older we get, the more activities we get involved in, where we don't see all of our friends as often as we used to. We probably are closer to family members, including children and grandchildren, and that sort of detracts from our outside influences a little. What was that line in a John Lennon song? "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans..." How true. Now, there was a man before his time. In my opinion, he was a man for all seasons.

About ten years ago, Dick was out of town on business. I ran into Jane and we had a nice conversation over drinks. May I add that Jane is a very attractive woman? Jane and I have always enjoyed each other's company, so I didn't feel uncomfortable in the least. As a matter of fact, the more we drank, the more relaxed we became with each other, until...

... Jane took my hand and pressed it firmly into her full and  supple breast. That took me by complete surprise.

"Dave, how come you never tried hitting on me? A lot of guys have, but never you. Why? Don't you find me attractive?" I gently and slowly pulled my hand away. It did not belong there.

"Of course I do. You're a total babe," I responded. "I just don't hit on my friends' women, and certainly, not married ones." She stared into my eyes. "You and Dick have been my friends for a long time now. You are my friend. Dick is my friend. I could not do this to him. I have too much respect for him and I have too much respect for you. Besides, I could never live with myself. You are both really good people."

Jane continued to look at me and finally said, "You know, Dave, you are an honorable man." I really thought I had already known that about myself, but it's always nice to hear. "That's one of the reasons why I love you so much." She meant that as a friend.

We continued with our drinks and put the incident out of our minds. Years later, I had the opportunity to do it again, but she was way too drunk and I was still an honorable guy. I drove her home one night and safely tucked her into bed, fully clothed. Today, I can proudly look Dick in the face and feel no guilt. No remorse. No pain. I'm sure he never heard anything about those incidents and I'm not about to ruin a very good friendship. With either of them.

Today, I can look in the mirror and stare at a respectful man. I like what I see.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Presenting: David A. Kyle, my uncle


Uncle Dave, 2005

This is my uncle, David Kyle. He is recognized in the science fiction community as the elder statesman, certainly to the older generation and since the passing of two of his very close friends, Arthur C. Clark and more recently, Forrest J Ackerman, the man who coined the term, sci-fi. I don't know how many present day fans he has, but it's not all that important. He still goes to many sci-fi conventions around the world, but he has slowed down recently. After all, Valentine's Day was his birthday, and this year he turned 90. Of course, I called him. He still goes up and down the stairs in his home and he has no trouble driving into town, to church with my aunt, and to local social functions near Potsdam, NY, where they reside. Way upstate. He is married to my mother's sister, Ruth. His mind is as sharp as it was 50 years ago. Back in 1980, he was authorized by the late E.E. 'Doc' Smith estate to write further adventures in the 'Dragon Lensmen' series. He has written other books and many years ago, was an author and illustrator for detective, fantasy and sci-fi pulp fiction magazines, such as Analog, and was the founder of Gnome Press. Years ago, he and my aunt owned a radio station up there, WPDM.

I remember, when I was four, going to their wedding in New York City. I sat with my grandmother and great aunt in the front row. During the ceremony, I looked up at the stained glass windows. It was an Episcopal church, The Little Church Around the Corner in midtown Manhattan. Quite ornate and somewhat gothic, if I recall. The moment was very silent. Pointing upward, I blurted out, "Is that God?" And I meant it. The question from my young lips reverberated throughout the whole church and within seconds, the congregation roared in laughter. Was that me who disrupted the ceremony? I guess I had my 15 minutes of fame rather early in life.

When I was young, probably from around 9 to 17, they used to fly me up to spend summers in Potsdam. Mohawk Airlines. DC-3s back then. Sometimes, they'd entertain guests for dinner. Earlier on, it meant nothing to me to dine with Isaac Asimov or Robert Heinlein and as I mentioned, his close friends, Forrest J Ackerman and Arthur C. Clarke, like anyone would know who he was. Being famous was not part of my vocabulary back then. Somewhere during my early years my father took me to a midget or sprint car race in Flemington, NJ, where I'm from. "See that guy out there?" he asked. "That's A.J. Foyt." 

"So?" I responded. I knew who Superman was.

My uncle has always had a very vibrant and creative mind and a keen, dry sense of humor. He still does, but I have noticed him slowing down - finally. At 90, can we blame him? For years, he and my Aunt Ruthie used to drive down, to escape the brutal and long winters of the north country. Of course, he did all the driving. Alas, I think those days are no more, but I would love to go back to visit them and to revisit old memories.

He and my aunt have one of the most extensive libraries I have ever seen, along with old, old metal sci-fi toys from here and post-war Japan. This summer, a lot of those will be gone, gone to find other homes. I sure hope I can get up there. In the meantime, Happy Birthday, Uncle Dave. I hope you had a nice Valentine's Day.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Barack Obama angered me from day one

In 1968, just before he was assassinated, Robert F. Kennedy was asked when he thought the first black president would be elected. Of course, this was before African-American worked its way into the lexicon, and colored people was bowing out as one of the nomenclatures used to describe an integral part of American culture. 2008, the presidential candidate and senator from New York replied. He was right on the money.

Barack Hussein Obama was inaugurated on January 20, 2009. It has become one of the most historic moments in American history as he was sworn in as our nation's first African-American commander-in-chief, freely elected by our fellow countrymen and women. Too bad Bobby didn't live to see it because he would be so proud. We should be, too, except for one thing that truly disturbed and depressed me about this past election. It wasn't the election, actually. It was the precise second he finished taking the oath of office, becoming our 44th president. Before you get all upset and call me a racist, hear me out.

My brother was born on July 3rd. Barack Obama was born on August 4. They were both born in 1961. For the first time in my entire life, the president of the United States is not only younger than me, he is younger than my baby brother, and he is the youngest of all my siblings.

Gee, I feel old.

Friday, January 23, 2009

What really brought that jet down in the Hudson River



Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Are you COMPUTER DEPENDENT?

We have become too dependent on our computers.

Here is proof......are you male or female?

To find out the answer, look down...


X

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Look down, not scroll down you

Nincompoop!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Historical Seminole Indian Burial Mound

Recently, I was videotaping in Seminole County (Florida) when I stumbled upon this sign at a secluded spot near Lake Monroe. I climbed the old steps and looked around. Then, I realized I was standing on the graves of long dead Seminole Indians. I paid my respects and skedaddled.

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View from the mound

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Although, not the most exciting thing I've ever encountered, it is a piece of American history and I have the utmost respect for that.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Marinating Tips & Restaurant Reviews

For my post about MARINATING TIPS, please CLICK HERE .

To read RESTAURANT REVIEWS, please CLICK HERE .

Friday, December 05, 2008

Meet the Boozers

I found this in the news recently:

SCHERERVILLE, Ind. – Indiana state police said that after a mother was arrested for drunken driving, the three relatives who came to pick up her 1-year-old son also had all been drinking. A state trooper stopped a minivan for speeding early Saturday on U.S. 30 in Schererville in northwestern Indiana. He arrested the 24-year-old woman on a drunken driving charges.

The boy's father arrived later to pick him up, but officers determined he was intoxicated and also arrested him on a drunken driving charge.

Police said the boy's grandparents then arrived. Both of them also had been drinking, state police said, but the grandmother who was driving was not over the legal limit, so officers escorted them home with the child.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Sourdough Stuffing Recipe

One of the problems with diabetics is that it's not just sugar that puts a damper on what we can eat. Fat and carbohydrates are problems, too, and they can be just as bad as sugar. With carbohydrates, flour, especially bleached, is not very friendly to us. Fortunately, we have a friend in sourdough. For some reason, sourdough bread is a lot safer to eat in moderation. Because of this, I found a recipe. I must be honest, I have not tried it, but it looks pretty good.

Sourdough Stuffing

Ingredients:

3/4 cup butter or margarine
3 medium onions fine diced
3 cloves garlic minced
2 bell peppers fine diced
3 tablespoons fresh sage minced
1 teaspoon each dried marjoram and thyme
2/3 cup fresh chopped parsley
1 loaf (1 lb size) day old sourdough bread cubed
1 1/2 cup broth (vegetable or chicken)
salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

Melt butter in pan and saute onions, peppers and garlic until tender. Stir in herbs. Remove from heat. Place bread cubes in a large bowl and stir in vegetable mixture. Pour on broth and mix well to moisten . Place in buttered pan and bake 400F covered for 25 minutes and then uncovered for another 20 minutes.

This recipe from CDKitchen for Sourdough Stuffing serves/makes 10

Ready in: 30-60 minutes
recipe difficulty 3/5 Difficulty: 3 (1=easiest :: hardest=5)

Monday, November 24, 2008

Vagenta

Your monitor and television are made up of RGB, or red, green and blue combinations, and they are responsible for all of the colors you see on your screen. They are referred to as primary additive colors because they are light projected. In other words, there is no light or white present until those colors are turned on, like a flashlight. To prove this, turn off your TV or computer screen and tell me what you see.

400px-additivecolorsvg

CMYK - cyan, magenta, yellow and key (black) are the colors used in printing. Combined, they are referred to as 4 color process. They are known as primary subtractive colors because they are added to the (generally) white paper they are printed on. In other words, you are subtracting white by printing over it. Cyan, magenta and yellow are capable of printing all colors but true black. The black you get looks very washed out, so black is added. It is also used because it minimizes CMY ink usage, cutting printing production costs.

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Next is a sample breakdown of a 4 color photo of the Grand Tetons in CMYK separations utilized for printing. The final photo shows how it would print.

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cmyk_grand_tetons

Now that you understand primary additive and subtractive colors, you can tinker around with RGB or CMYK combinations to make your own. The sky's the limit.

As I got more involved in color printing and moved away from the mostly stark world of newspapers and black & white, I played around a bit. Years earlier, I had come up with velvis and reincornation as funny words sometimes referred to as portmanteaus, so it was inevitable that I would create something visual since I was in the graphic design profession. In light of this, I came up with a new color and called it vagenta. I'll let you figure it out.

vagenta-swatch

Monday, November 10, 2008

Obama Breeze

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Obama Breeze is a play on the Darden restaurant chain, Bahama Breeze. I’d been tossing the idea around in my head for a month or so, and then , darn if he didn’t go ahead and win the election. I figured, sure, why not give it a try.

Then I thought, with a couple of choice words like that, there should be a drink to go along with it. The following recipe is one I came up with when I bartended at the Union Hotel in Flemington, NJ, in the late 70s. I called it a Full Moon back then, but I think it will work well with its new name, probably for the next 8 years…

OBAMA BREEZE

All equal parts:

Bacardi Rum
Smirnoff Silver
Jack Daniels
Triple Sec
Coca Cola
OJ or sour mix

Splash of Grenadine (optional)

Pour over crushed ice and shake well. Garnish with orange slice and maraschino cherry. Substitutes will not produce the same drink. Also, consuming more than two or three of these may get you arrested. Obama will not come to bail you out.

©2008 David B. Knechel All Rights Reserved


There is also a drink called the Bahama Breeze and the recipe can be found here.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Why the Republicans - and McCain - lost

Please allow me to preface this article with something. If you don't believe Barack Obama has ushered our nation into the 21st century with a big BAM! - then stop here. When the entire world sits up and pays attention to an American election, the likes of which they've never seen, it means the world still looks to us for guidance and a sense of direction. After George W. Bush rebuked allies and enemies alike, it's refreshing to know we may, once again, stand tall with our global neighbors.

A lot of Republicans are scratching their heads these days, trying to understand what went wrong. They ceded both houses to Democrats 2 years ago, but this time around, they handed our next president a larger, more comfortable margin of friendly faces and willing supporters. As far as the presidency, it was apparent from the start that Barack Obama was going to win and Republicans had a long, treacherous road ahead of them to try to take it away, no matter who they nominated. After all, he had Oprah, one of the most powerful women in entertainment and popular culture, behind him all the way. Early on, he recruited millions of volunteer supporters to go out among the people to secure votes. He raised more money than any presidential candidate before him, and he knew how to work the media and the Internet. Let's not forget, the man can speak, and he did it much better than John McCain.

Post-election, there's going to be some finger pointing, but instead, the Grand Old Party needs to focus on rebuilding itself into the party it once was. It has lost those values. What happened to states rights and less government interference? The federal government grew exponentially, along with the deficit, during the 8 years of the Bush administration and the president, in particular, disappointed an awful lot of Americans. We cannot forget the war in Iraq and his handling of it since he invaded the country. Because of his tunnel vision and stubbornness, this administration has neglected to pay much needed attention to who our real enemies are: al Qaeda and its splinter groups. To his credit, we have not been attacked since September 11, 2001.

When it became evident that McCain would become the Republican nominee, infighting began in earnest. He was always branded as too liberal by the majority of party faithful. The GOP looked like a top gyrating out of control in spite of McCain selling his soul to gain the confidence of the far right of his own party. It didn't work. What Barack Obama had going for him, the Republicans did not. It remained an awkward alliance. The top stopped spinning when McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate. Way too folksy and not presidential timbre, it turned Obama's lack of experience into an asset while splintering the Republicans even further. The entire McCain campaign was a textbook lesson in disorderly conduct and I cringed at every turn. It was too painful and I sensed the long and arduous concession speech had begun to take form when he accepted his party's nomination at the Republican convention. Had John McCain been left alone to be John McCain, he would have fared better, but he still would have lost even if the economy hadn't bottomed out. That, my friends, spelled failure, yet it started many years ago and had plenty of time to fester.

The biggest problem the Republicans had looming this time around, the one that guaranteed doom, was BUSH, BUSH, BUSH, as the late Tim Russert might have said; and they will have to wait until January 20, 2009 to shed that onus. Not to take away from Obama's qualities; I just don't think he would have made it to the top post had it not been for America's terrible disdain for George W. Bush and his entire administration. When Dick Cheney stated he didn't care what the American public thought, that this administration was going to do it their way, what he was clearly saying to the country was screw you. I think the pivotal point in the presidential race came when Cheney made that statement. That, and years of failed policies and a malaise brought on by Bush. We became very frustrated and wanted to see change. I supported him in the beginning, but I took to task his "you're either with us or against us" ultimatum and I was insulted that by questioning him on any subject would infer that I was unpatriotic or, God forbid, a dreaded liberal, as if that were some sort of pariah. For years, the Republican led Senate and House toed the Bush line and today they suffer a great humility. The American people did an about face on November 4 and that included a fair amount of typically conservative voters - Bush supporters from the past 2 presidential elections.

We are not a nation consisting of the mentally blind. We do not need to be led like lost sheep as the Bush administration so fervently believed. That we could not render our own thoughts and decisions was a fatal flaw the Republican party never considered. We needed to be spied on to keep ourselves safe from not just foreign terrorists, but our own selves and that did not sit well. We needed to torture terrorists and deny them all human rights. And at every twist and turn, Bush & Co. circumvented the court system. They wrote their own rules and history will prove that. What will the party do now? I don't know. It's got to bring itself into the 21st century and admit that global warming, for one, is real and that there's an astute possibility that we humans are contributing to it. Heck, even if a majority of party members don't believe it, at least recognize that a vast majority of people worldwide do. Bend a little. Accept the fact that PETA and Greenpeace are real and not radical threats to our nation. Stop meddling into the personal affairs of individuals by legislating moral values left over from days gone by. What people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms, for example, is no ones business as long as it's between consenting adults. Stop pandering to big business and the upper class while neglecting the middle and lower classes. The only thing that's trickled down is the party itself. It's trickled itself down into the basement. Republicans have got to leave the Reagan years behind and catch up with the population of today, and as unbelieving as it may sound, our president-elect was a fresh faced, just turned 19 year old voter when Jimmy Carter lost to the Great Communicator. That's proof we live in a new world, folks.

For Obama, it was never a matter of race. Before the election, I had high hopes that the nation had transcended race as a factor. November 4, 2008 proved that to be true. The Republicans never really brought the color of his skin into play, but instead chose to go after points they wrongly assumed the stupid public knew nothing about or could not conceive and they needed to be forcefully educated about. That made people angry for questioning their intelligence. Why they kept hammering on the theme of Obama's Muslim faith, something he is not and never was, was too much to bear. Fringe elements of the conservative right continued to question Obama's citizenship and to produce a birth certificate. To the naysayers who kept pounding home the notion that Barack Obama was not born in the United States, I say this: Do you really believe the government is that stupid? If the FBI, CIA, departments of Homeland Security, Immigration and Naturalization, Defense and every other agency that investigated his past could not find any truth to those asinine accusations, why did you continue to whine and gripe about it, right up to the end? If you think your own government is incapable of running its own investigations, then you deserve what you get. He's a socialist. He's a Marxist. He's a terrorist. The list could go on and on and it turned the nation off, especially young voters, the demographic he targeted first; the ones who insured his election. I like to think our population is made up of moderates and I think we get sick when all we ever hear is that the sky is falling. This race turned out to be the Democrats against the Chicken Littles. I'm a registered Republican and I watched the Republican party implode throughout the race before exploding in the end.

In the final days of the presidential race, the McCain people and Republican party continued to play the same old song, that Barack Obama was not qualified and didn't have enough experience to command. It was old and stale and it reflected the state of the party. In particular, the commercial showing an empty desk in the oval office with the voice-over that said he had never run anything was completely out of kilter. What they failed to realize, but the American public did not, was that he ran the best campaign in the history of this great nation and that was what played in the minds of voters. He stared down the Clintons without blinking an eye while taking out the Republican party. If that's not showing leadership, then what is?

Let's hope the new, nonpartisan-promising, president-elect and the rest of the Democrats learn something from the fall of the Republican empire, lest the same fate wrest power from their hands. If history proves itself, they will falter, but we are living in different times, aren't we? Changed times we can believe in?

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Let's go to Somalia and get stoned

I don't normally like to write about news events, but this story just struck me as one of the most heinous of crimes against humanity.

Poor Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow went to local authorities to report that she had been raped by three men. In response, punishment came swiftly from the Islamic militia in charge in Kismayo, a southern port city in Somalia. They stoned the 13 year old girl to death for committing adultery.

"This child suffered a horrendous death at the behest of the armed opposition groups who currently control Kismayo," David Copeman of Amnesty International in Somalia stated Friday.

Dozens of men stoned her to death in a stadium packed with 1,000 spectators, Amnesty International and Somalian media reported. Somalia is one of the world's most violent and poorest of countries. The nation of about 8 million people has no functioning or central government since warlords overthrew its dictator in 1991 and then began to fight with each other.

I'm surprised she lived that long. 25% of the country's population die before age 5, and just about every institution is in shambles. You gotta love those terrorists. For that matter, how many Islamic countries treat women as equals to men, let alone just having basic rights all humans should be allowed?

Would you believe me if I told you that this Islamic militia, al-Shebab, has ties to al Qaeda?