Today is Earth Day

I wrote the following on April 22, 2008. (Hopefully, my writing style is a bit more refined and focused today.) I've become a whole lot more conscientious about our planet since the first one, and public perceptions about marijuana have changed dramatically.

MY FIRST EARTH DAY 

". . . on April 22, 1970, Earth Day was held, one of the most remarkable happenings in the history of democracy. . . "

 -American Heritage Magazine, October 1993

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I remember the very first Earth Day. It was called Moratorium Day in 1970. I was attending Hunterdon Central High School (now known as Hunterdon Central Regional High School) and a lot of commotion was stirred by our teachers and fellow students preceding that day. The first thing to catch my attention, and those of plenty of my peers, was that all classes were to be suspended on Earth Day. Instead, we would have seminars in what seemed like a giant trade show, with local and state business and community leaders converging on our school to speak to us about our planet, how to improve our lives and what we could do to be positive forces in the world. We were in the middle of a terrible conflict in Vietnam and drugs were becoming an ever present occurrence in all of our lives, whether we did them or not. Everyone was very much aware of those two things. At the time, I wasn't much of an environmentalist, although I never had anything against ecology and conservationism. My concerns lay more in the sphere of my social environment, so who we knew that went to Viet Nam and whether drugs were cool to do or not were more important issues than saving the planet from pollution. Remember, these were the days before the '73 oil embargo, Watergate and words like vegan and tree hugger had not yet parsed our lips.

I recall that about a week before Earth Day, we were given a form to fill out with explanations on each symposium. We had some that were mandatory to attend and many more that were electives. At no time during the day were we to have free time, except for lunch. That way, we were always accounted for, being carefree high school students and all. Just like regular classes, we weren't supposed to skip these meetings, either. Mandatory roll calls were to be taken, but they never were. After a while, we knew how to play the attendance game.

One I signed up for dealt with drug education. Of course, being high school kids and "hip" on the drug scene, a lot of my friends attended that one, too. I'm sure we knew more than the cops. Once there, we learned about the evils of marijuana, hashish, LSD, STP, heroin and whatever was big back then and the tools used to ingest them, like rolling papers, pipes and needles. We also learned how to detect users, how to turn them in and how to avoid frying our own brains from drugs. It was held in the main auditorium and there was a long table filled with all sorts of paraphernalia to view. Lou Rocco was the county drug czar back then and he was our lecturer. Several cops stood near him. I knew him well enough, too, because his daughter, Angie, had been the first to train me when I started working at the Weiner King restaurant in the fall of '68. He was a regular customer and Angie took a shining to me. She went on to be a nurse or something because she got a job at the Hunterdon Medical Center.

After his speech, good old Lou invited us to join him at that long table so we could get up close and personal with the stuff on display. We were allowed to pick up some things, but the real goods were kept at a distance. First, he explained what each item was, and then he prompted us to ask questions. I have always been known as a practical joker. During that question and answer period, I secretly swiped a piece of incense while Mr. Rocco was answering someone's question and his back was to me. I don't know what the other cops were doing but they weren't watching me. What I picked up was no ordinary piece of incense. It smelled just like marijuana when burning and it was used to train police and narcotics agents. Oh boy, what do I do with my newfound stash, I wondered.

When the seminar ended, I casually walked into the men's room by the main entrance, just beyond the auditorium. I waited for everyone else to leave and entered one of the stalls. The stalls back then didn't have doors on them in our school. Not the men's room, anyway. That way, teachers could make sure no one was smoking cigarettes. I carefully placed that valuable piece of pot incense behind the toilet and lit it. I hightailed it out of there before the stuff began to smell. It didn't take long before that became the biggest news at the high school that day. POT SMOKING STUDENTS USE HIGH SCHOOL MEN'S ROOM ON EARTH DAY! Imagine that, some stupid kids had the audacity to smoke pot with all those cops swarming about. They never did get caught, though, and Lou Rocco and the rest of his force never figured out a piece of their educational material went missing.

There you have it. My first Earth Day was spent smoking up the men's room with chemically manufactured marijuana. I'm sure it was manufactured overseas from artificial ingredients. Since 1970, I've learned a lot about war, drugs and what we can do to keep ourselves and our planet healthy. I hope you have, too.

That would be far out, man. Peace.

A lesson in American history

Mr. Robert Higerd was my 7th and 8th grade history and geography teacher back in the 60s at East Amwell Township School in Ringoes, NJ. He was good. He must have been in the Army before he started to teach because his favorite saying was, ”At ease, disease – there’s a fungus among us.” I think it was an old military phrase.

At least once a week, we’d sit in his classroom watching old post-WWII black & white films on the noisy projector. Most of them were from the forties and fifties and the sound was always warped and gurgled. It was a lucky day when we got to see one of those newfangled color ones. A lot of them were old government films – you know, the duck and cover variety. The newer ones were usually about some South American country, but we were in the midst of a Cold War with Russia then. Civic duties and patriotism were etched into our minds. It was a time when we were proudly taught how great it was to be an American. Communism was evil and Red China did not exist. Nope, it was grayed out on all school maps. We knew it existed, but it just wasn’t there and I always questioned which countries had better propaganda, theirs or ours.

Gee, I miss those days.

Today, we live in a throwaway world and history changes as rapidly as we replace cell phones. In those days, history books were meant to last a decade. There was no such thing as politically correct and they weren’t rewritten with each change of administrations. When we got new ones, we knew they were going to be handed down for quite a few years to come and to keep them in good shape was part of our daily marching orders. One day, Mr. Higerd caught me doing something to one of his prized books in my personal possession and protection.

“DAVE!!! Did I just see you writing in that book?” Defacing books or anything that’s school property was punishable by death. It was a mandatory trip to the principal’s office and it meant big time trouble. Parents usually got involved. No, this was never a good thing.

“No, Sir. I was not writing in the book.”

“I saw you writing in the book.”

“No, Sir. I was not writing in this book! I was drawing.” Each day, I added a new addition to the following page and I’d been doing it for weeks. No one ever saw me commit this horrendous crime. Why did it have to be him, an Army vet, of all people? He was like a drill sergeant in those days, but much nicer.

He ordered me up to the front of the class with alleged evidence in hand and abruptly snatched the now closed book away. “Knechel! Sit back down now!”

Walking back to my seat, he rifled through the pages and saw what I had done. Somewhere in that thick book, I drew my character, a hardy stick figure standing motionless. I repeated the same thing for a few more pages, and as time and pages went on, I gradually lifted his legs up and down, moving him slowly and casually forward. At one point he stopped, turned to look at the noise coming from behind him, and with arms flailing, he darted as quickly as he could toward the other end of the page.

Down came a rumbling boulder, heavily bouncing and rolling toward him. He tried desperately to race away, but the giant rock was coming after him at a much higher rate of speed. Finally, it scrunched my poor little guy like a pancake and he was dead. Squoosh. Of course, the boulder kept rolling until it ran off the edge of the paper. The End.

As he flipped through those pages, watching my cartoon in action, Mr. Higerd started to chuckle. “You know, Dave, this is great.”

He opened the book for the class to see. “If you can’t see it from back there, come on up and gather around. This is how cartoons were originally drawn. They still are. Action figures that change with each drawing…” and on he went for a while, fanning the pages as he outwardly panned the class, in full education mode.

On the inside front cover of all school books, there was either a stamp or pasted label that all students had to sign, date and state their grade at the beginning of the school year. At the end of the year, everyone turned their books in for next year’s use. Like I said, they were new that year. Good old Mr. Higerd told me he was going to follow that book for as long as it remained in circulation and show it to every one of his classes – to explain the history of cartoons. I was honored. Of course, this was long before computers and software, Windows and Macs.

In the end, he didn’t reprimand me for vandalizing school property, although he readily could have. There was no trip to the principal’s office. Instead, he complimented my handiwork. These weren’t just ordinary stick figures, mind you. They were detailed ones that I brought to life in one of his classrooms, and one of the things I remember most about him was how he brought a lot of life to what he taught. After he saw my talent and appreciated what I had done, I became one of his favorite students. I was, that is, until I ruined one of those newfangled color films about Argentina, but that’s a history lesson for another day.

Quite the Endeavour

I just came in from watching the space shuttle Endeavour lift off. It was a glorious moment and it's still the best attraction Florida has to offer. It was picture perfect, too. I stood in my back yard and followed the bright flame as it rapidly disappeared into the light blue sky. The puffy contrail momentarily stood still giving pause to reflect upon the timeless grace, power and magnitude of this magnificent launch. Then, it wafted away. I went back inside and witnessed what most of the nation was seeing on their television screens. Times like these become an inspiration for America, a moment to forget our woes. This is when we all unite and say Godspeed.

"Class is in session!" the NASA announcer said as the shuttle separated from the main engine and gracefully entered into orbit. Let this be a lesson to us all. As these brave souls journey onward and upward to a place where hatred carries no weight, where there are no borders and enemies do not exist, we must learn to forge ahead and make our world as safe as that oasis in the sky.

My brother, Sam, shuttles VIPs to launches. He drives for a large transportation company and took the two photos below. The first one (taken with his cell phone) was Endeavour on the pad the day before the launch. The second picture (taken with his digital camera) speaks for itself. He said it was very hazy as it lifted off the pad. What I saw from Orlando was very clear once it appeared over the tree tops.

The bottom picture looks better if you click to enlarge it.

Photos courtesy of Sam Knechel, Jr.

The 9/11 Conspiracy

Here is the absolute truth on the 9/11 government conspiracy.

Everyone knows that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are deeply in bed with the oil industry. It's common knowledge. Most oil comes from Arab countries with strong ties to the Islamic faith. Consequently, Bush & Company had no problem rustling up some Arab miscreants to do their dirty work in September of 2001. In spite of the fact he had only been in office for 8 months before that fateful day, Bush had years of help and planning from a secret organization. I'll explain later.

Airlines are big business. Bush & Company are all for big business. He and the rest of the Republicans strive to reduce or eliminate corporate taxes. Heck, the administration would prefer that the government pay them to remain big and powerful. Promises were made by Bush. You supply the big jumbo jets filled to the brim with big oil company jet fuel and we'll compensate you in the form of tax incentives and other perks, like secretly flying in tons of illegal aliens at government expense. What's a few thousand lives and a handful of flying machines when the future of our great nation is at stake! We get to eliminate Saddam, take over the Iraqi oil fields, the oil companies get to jack up prices and big business wins, wins, wins!!! It's a no brainer. The loss of American lives on 9/11 and in Iraq will be replaced by illegals here. Eventually, we'll send them over there to do the work Americans don't want to do. Again, a win/win situation. We "dirty sanchez" the little wetbacks. How patriotic can you get?

As far as Bush being referred to as a Nazi, well, that's partially true. A hidden fact is that the Bush family has kept Adolph Hitler on life support since the end of Germany's reign of terror in 1945. Go ahead, Google "The Knights Preston" and the "Duh Vincheney Code" and see what you get. Don't forget to wish Adolph a happy birthday on April 20. He'll be 108 years old. Send your greetings to the White House.

Little known facts:

St. Elvis is alive and well in the minds and hearts of Minnesotans.

Walt Disney's brain is cryogenetically preserved in a hidden vault deep in the bowels of the Cinderella Castle at Disney World in Orlando, Florida. I know, I live there and I've seen it.

Area 51 exists. So does Roswell. Don't get me started on life on Mars.

By the way, are you aware that, in retaliation against the Republican Machine, the Democrats have kept John F. Kennedy alive all these years and he's living on a yacht somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, off the coast of Massachusetts? He masterminded the midterm Democratic landslide. Google that, too. Oh, his 90th birthday is May 29th. Send greetings in care of Howard Dean. He's his doctor.

Hard Core Extremists

I think the far right has been indoctrinated for such a long time, they interpret “far right” as meaning, “So far, I’m right. You’re wrong.” Then, they yell, swear at you and call you a Commie and other sordid names. Don’t get me wrong, the flip side can be way out in left field, too. Michael Moore and Al Franken come to mind, but I’ve noticed that ultra-right wing, arch-conservative, basket case Republicans think anyone who disagrees with them on any subject matter is a liberal. They are always right and when backed into a corner without beating the crap out of you, they go into denial. Denial in a sense that whichever Republican official a “so called” liberal names, they come up with a standard excuse: HE’S NOT A REPUBLICAN - HE’S A RINO (Republican In Name Only). If all Republican politicians are RINOs, then who are the true Republicans in their vein?

Let’s see… the esteemed Abraham Lincoln, long considered the father of the Republican Party, freed the slaves. That’s much too liberal. He must have been one of the first RINOs. Imagine people of color having rights!

Moving on, let’s consider Theodore Roosevelt. He was at the forefront of conservationism. He was responsible for writing the book on the preservation of land and species that might, otherwise, become extinct. Save the red-breasted throck morton! Ouch!!! Way too liberal. G*d-D*mn Tree Hugger!

OK. Let’s try Dwight D. Eisenhower. Good guy. War hero. 5 star general. Head of the entire European Theatre during WWII. Let’s see, wasn’t he the architect of the Interstate highway system? Didn’t he usher in the Space Age? Without those two, we wouldn’t be able to move around or communicate with such speed as we do today. Maybe we would stay home more often, listening to fireside chats on the radio. Oh, wait! That was FDR, a Democrat. Anyway, good old Ike was way too progressive for his time. Nope, he won’t do.

The list can go on and on and each one can be excused or written off as a RINO. George W. Bush, Jeb Bush, John McCain, Charlie Crist. “W” let all those Wetbacks in. Don’t even mention Rudolph Guiliani. Chuck Hagel? Pretty darn conservative, but he’s against that damn patriotic thing going on over there in sand n*gger country. You know, the WMD place. You name the Republican and these idiots will find a way to denigrate any one of them to their own selfish benefit and in their best interests, period.

Back to the first question. Who are the true Republicans in their vein? I think the only ones these morons would support are not politicians at all. They are a bunch of political pundits who spew exactly what they want to hear - such fine and upstanding men, like… Rush “Oxycontin” Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill “No Spin” O’Reilly and the entire “cast” of FOX News. One day, they’ll finally have a “fair and balanced” administration. Whoopee, we’re all gonna die! Turn that sand into glass!

The worst and most frightening people in the world are the extremists. It doesn’t matter which side of the fence they sit on, left-wing, right-wing, they are the same. What is the difference between extreme heat and extreme cold? They are both very uncomfortable and, I hope I’m far from alone in feeling this way. Well, that’s my opinion, anyway. What? You want to go outside?

Jesus Christ, for crying out loud

I can see it now. The year is 4007 AD. A 2,000 year old tomb has been unearthed. In it are two caskets. One contains skeletal remains with two massive silicone sacs resting firmly in the chest area, common chest implants from that era.

"What we have found here," one expert explains, "are the remains of Anna Nicole Smith, a sex symbol from 2,000 years ago."

"How do you know they are hers?"

"Because we found a young man's remains in the casket beside her. DNA testing proved that this was her son."

For countless generations, many non-believers have stated, for lack of any physical proof, that Jesus never even existed. Zero. Zilch. Nothing more than figments of the mind. The whole Christian religion is based on hearsay and the teachings of biased men. Prove it, they say. Show me an ounce of proof that either God or Jesus exist or ever did.

Could this be the proof the naysayers have been dying for, the proof that would turn their opinions around? Would they then concede that Jesus did, in fact, exist, but it still doesn't make him the son of God - it doesn't even prove this is the same guy mentioned in this "fictitious" compilation of books - or would they be as pragmatic as they always have been and question the DNA? The mere fact that mitochondrial DNA was discovered in fragments in the ossuaries might only prove that this Jesus, son of Joseph, was the son of that Mary, his mother, and that his offspring is the son of the other Mary, his mate. Mitochondrial DNA is strictly matrilineal in nature, i.e., a system in which one belongs to one's mother's lineage. No further information can be extracted.

To a believer or non-believer, does this prove that he is or isn't the same Jesus from the New Testament, when these names were common back then? Find the DNA of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David or Solomon to compare it with. Better yet, God. Then the proof will, without a doubt, be there. In the meantime, couldn't the high priests at the time, who wanted this upstart religion trounced, have secreted other related bodies into a tomb and inscribed ossuaries to make it appear to be those of Jesus and his kin?

Some Christians believe Jesus made a physical ascension to heaven. Others believe it was a spiritual ascension which left his mortal remains here for disposal. This merely questions the physical and should not be taken in any way as a means to deny all Christians their faith. That is not the intent of the documentary, although some seem to be drooling over it prematurely.

It seems that non-believers now have something to believe in, after all these years of denial. Are they willing to now say, “YES! He did exist! Here’s the proof!”?

Hold on... gotta go. Someone just spotted Anna Nicole at the mall with Elvis.

'Tis the Season to be...Treeless!

When all nine Christmas trees were removed from Sea-Tac International Airport instead of adding a giant Jewish menorah to the holiday display as Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky requested, he said, "Everyone should have their spirit of the holiday. For many people the trees are the spirit of the holidays, and adding a menorah adds light to the season." Bogomilsky works in Seattle at the regional headquarters for Chabad Lubavitch, a Jewish education foundation. After consulting with lawyers, the port authority staff believed that including the menorah would have required adding symbols for other religions and cultures indicative of the Northwest. The holiday season is the busiest time at the airport, airport spokeswoman Terri-Ann Betancourt stated, and the staff just didn't have time to play cultural anthropologists. Besides, Bogomilsky had hired a lawyer and threatened to sue.

Let's start with a brief history of the Christmas (or holiday) tree. In the northern hemisphere, the shortest day and longest night of the year falls around December 21. Many ancient people believed that the sun was a god and after that date, this god was going to make a remarkable recovery from being sick and weak and would bring forth fresh flora and vegetation. Evergreen boughs were used to celebrate the return of summer, since that was all that remained green at that time of year. Early Egyptians filled their homes with green palm rushes to symbolize the triumph of life over death. Romans marked the solstice with a feast called Saturnalia to honor Saturn, the god of agriculture, and decorated their homes and temples with evergreen boughs. So did the ancient Druids and Vikings.

Nowhere in the New Testament is there a reference of a tree to honor the birth of Christ. As a matter of fact, Germany is credited as being the first to start a Christmas tree tradition in the 16th century when devout Christians brought decorated trees into their homes. Early German settlers in Pennsylvania brought this custom with them, which most colonists found to be an oddity. Pilgrims abhorred it and banned them in 1659 Massachusetts, along with carols and any other form of "paganism". All worship could only be done in churches. Period. That continued into the 19th century, but too many German and Irish immigrants undermined the Puritans' decree and Christmas trees found their way into homes in America. In Europe, they had already been established.

The menorah, on the other hand, is sacred and one of the oldest symbols of the Jewish faith. It is a seven-branched candelabrum used in the Temple and represents the nation of Israel and its mission to be "a light unto the nations." (Isaiah 42:6). Did I mention the book of Isaiah is in the Old Testament? The Torah states that God revealed the design for the menorah to Moses.

I know many people of all religions and no religion at all who celebrate the season by putting up and decorating a tree. To some, it is no different than dressing up your house and handing out treats on Halloween. That's another story, by the way. There is nothing sacred about a Christmas tree. Christianity does not recognize it as a symbol of their faith. The menorah and Christmas tree have nothing in common. One stands for religion. The other does not. If you don't believe me, go ask Santa Claus. If you don't believe him, wait until spring rolls around and ask the Easter Bunny. Better yet, don't. I don't want to have to explain the history of some rabbit to a disgruntled cleric, expecting equal religious billing. Then, I'd also have to explain dyed and hard-boiled eggs and how they got their rise in early pagan spring rituals.

I wish all wars could be fought this way

It is common knowledge that during World War II, decoys were used by both the Allies and Axis powers. The following story has never been proven to be true or not. I just thought it might be appropriate given the state of the world today.

Excerpted from the book, Masquerade: The Amazing Camouflage Deceptions of World War II, by Seymour Reit; Signet, 1980.

Another enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that has been told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German "airfield," constructed with meticulous care, was made almost entirely of wood.

There were wooden hangars, oil tanks, gun emplacements, trucks, and aircraft.

The Germans took so long in building their wooden decoy that Allied photo experts had more than enough time to observe and report it.

The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the last wooden plank. And early the following morning, a lone RAF plane crossed the Channel, came in low, circled the field once, and dropped a large wooden bomb.

Nix on the impeachment idea

There are plenty of liberal and conservative blogs out there in Blogland. For those that call for President Bush's impeachment, there are probably an even number that support him and trash Howard Dean. Not that he's not an easy target, too.

I'm reminded of an old story from my old friend, Wayne Trout, who went on to that Giant AM/FM Broadcast Booth in the Sky last June. Wayne was an exceptionally funny guy and, as I've mentioned before on a previous post, he was the kind of person you'd be a fool not to invite to a party if you didn't want it to be a big success. I guess you could have compared him to a softer, gentler Robin Williams.

During the Nixon administration, and specifically at the time of Watergate, Nixon's Attorney General, Elliot Richardson, appointed Archibald Cox to be the special prosecutor in charge of investigating the break-in and cover-up at the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee inside the Watergate Hotel by members of Nixon's Committee to Re-Elect the President, also known as CREEP.

After Cox insisted on unrestricted access to tape recordings of what went down in the Oval Office, Nixon demanded that Cox be fired by his Attorney General. Richardson refused and promptly resigned, as did his deputy. The third person in charge was Robert H. Bork, later of Supreme Court fame, who ubruptly dismissed Cox. This became known as the "Saturday Night Massacre." All Hell broke loose after that and the rest is history for the ages, as Nixon became the first and only president to resign from office.

In the meantime, good old Wayne had come up with a bumper sticker idea. He took it all around town (Orlando) and every printer he saw refused to touch it. It was exasperating. Finally, after a couple of weeks or so, he found one printer way out on the east side of town. The guy must have been a liberal or a Nixon hater. Oh well, never mind, he at least had a great sense of humor. All Wayne wanted to print was…

IMPEACH THE COX SACKER!