Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The 9/11 Conspiracy

Here is the absolute truth on the 9/11 government conspiracy.

Everyone knows that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are deeply in bed with the oil industry. It's common knowledge. Most oil comes from Arab countries with strong ties to the Islamic faith. Consequently, Bush & Company had no problem rustling up some Arab miscreants to do their dirty work in September of 2001. In spite of the fact he had only been in office for 8 months before that fateful day, Bush had years of help and planning from a secret organization. I'll explain later.

Airlines are big business. Bush & Company are all for big business. He and the rest of the Republicans strive to reduce or eliminate corporate taxes. Heck, the administration would prefer that the government pay them to remain big and powerful. Promises were made by Bush. You supply the big jumbo jets filled to the brim with big oil company jet fuel and we'll compensate you in the form of tax incentives and other perks, like secretly flying in tons of illegal aliens at government expense. What's a few thousand lives and a handful of flying machines when the future of our great nation is at stake! We get to eliminate Saddam, take over the Iraqi oil fields, the oil companies get to jack up prices and big business wins, wins, wins!!! It's a no brainer. The loss of American lives on 9/11 and in Iraq will be replaced by illegals here. Eventually, we'll send them over there to do the work Americans don't want to do. Again, a win/win situation. We "dirty sanchez" the little wetbacks. How patriotic can you get?

As far as Bush being referred to as a Nazi, well, that's partially true. A hidden fact is that the Bush family has kept Adolph Hitler on life support since the end of Germany's reign of terror in 1945. Go ahead, Google "The Knights Preston" and the "Duh Vincheney Code" and see what you get. Don't forget to wish Adolph a happy birthday on April 20. He'll be 108 years old. Send your greetings to the White House.

Little known facts:

St. Elvis is alive and well in the minds and hearts of Minnesotans.

Walt Disney's brain is cryogenetically preserved in a hidden vault deep in the bowels of the Cinderella Castle at Disney World in Orlando, Florida. I know, I live there and I've seen it.

Area 51 exists. So does Roswell. Don't get me started on life on Mars.

By the way, are you aware that, in retaliation against the Republican Machine, the Democrats have kept John F. Kennedy alive all these years and he's living on a yacht somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, off the coast of Massachusetts? He masterminded the midterm Democratic landslide. Google that, too. Oh, his 90th birthday is May 29th. Send greetings in care of Howard Dean. He's his doctor.

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