Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Rated R for Rectum

We've known each other for a number of years and our relationship has always been professional, although, he has told me things that I would say are rather intimate. I haven't seen him in months and he told me then that it was time. "I'm not ready," I responded. "Next time." Yesterday was that special day.

Other than high school gym class and the showers we took together, I had never been naked with a man, certainly not in an intimate fashion by any means. Actually, it was my high school doctor some 40 years ago. Women, I love them. Men? Never.

Somehow, he convinced me to unbuckle my belt and slowly drop my pants. What compelled me to do such a thing? Could it be that, after all these years, I needed to get this done? To put it behind me, so to speak, so I could get on with my life and to feel like the manly man I truly am? You know, men doing manly things together. Bonding.

He touched me. He touched me again. I coughed. I coughed again. He asked me to turn around. I acquiesced for the simple reason that it was a friendly request and I liked his demeanor. He made me feel calm. Besides, it wasn't like he was just a stranger in some back alley, probing and chipping away at my masculinity. Assume the position! I was not looking forward to what he was about to do.

He penetrated me from behind. I could not gaze into his eyes. Ooh, I silently moaned. It was a new sensation and I sensed that this man knew what he was doing. I've been touched there before, but this was the first time it was a guy. For a fleeting moment, I felt like a woman. "You should have had this done years ago." I didn't know what to think. He was right, but I didn't quite know how to respond. How should I react? What should I have said? Before I had a chance, it was over.

"Is that it?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "Your prostate is a little spongy, but not bad for a man your age."

I pulled my pants up. After all that anxiety and trepidation, it turned out to be a simple procedure. "You know," I said, "that was nothing compared to that barium enema you put me through months ago for polyps I didn't have."

"Yes, but we did find out you have diverticulitis. I would recommend that you start taking saw palmetto to help keep your prostate healthy. Other than that, you're good for another year." I felt whole.

"Great!" I exclaimed, as I limped out of his office. I can't wait to mark it on my calendar.

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