Monday, May 15, 2006

Bam! Just like that...

Every year, I used to travel back to my home state of New Jersey to visit old friends. We'd always have our "Big Chill" party in Beach Haven. One year, my friend Stewart, his wife and I decided to go to Atlantic City, since it wasn't that far of a drive from where we were. I don't remember which casino we went to. It probably didn't matter. We would have lost at any one of them.

We were playing the slot machines. As long as you're playing, your drinks are free. A cocktail waitress kept working her station near us. Back and forth. Back and forth. That gave me the opportunity to get in some pretty nice glances without looking too much like a perv. Darn. Why did I leave my dark sunglasses in the car? She was putting me into a veritable trance. I must say, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever layed my eyes upon. From head to toe, she was drop-dead gorgeous. Perfect face. Perfect body. Perfect feet. There wasn't a flaw on her. Probably never had to go to the bathroom, either. A living goddess.

Finally, she started to walk toward me. My God, she's coming closer and closer, and the nearer she got, the more perfect she was becoming. Gulp. The roulette wheel inside my head was spinning faster and faster. My heart was pounding. I wanted to break out in a nervous sweat, but just then... just then... she opened her mouth to display a perfect set of teeth, all nice and white. She probably never even had a cavity.

She spoke.

"You's guys wanna drink?" she asked in a not so dainty and feminine sort of voice.

"Are you from South Philly?" I asked.

"Uh, yup. How'd ya know?"

Duh. "Oh, I don't know. I could just tell."

Bam! Just like that, she burst my bubble. Whatever thoughts of perfection I felt toward her came tumbling down. It was like I had put all my money on one number and lost. A minute earlier, I would have married her in a second. Oh well, looks aren't everything, but the drinks were good.

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