Sunday, May 06, 2007

No mames guey, José Luis de Jesús Miranda

The Messiah

Holy Moises!!! Those religious zealots are at it again. This time, it's a big, scary one. Hayzooz, otherwise known as Yahweh, just passed through Orlando in all his glory. Praise the Lard, because this guy's worth less than rendered pig fat. Fancy jet. Big SUV. Bling Bling. Nine bodyguards. Caramba! He even sports a "666" tattoo on his forearm. This man says he is the real deal. The Second Coming of Christ and the Antichrist all rolled into one. He lives in a fancy, big money, gated mansion, smokes, drinks and surrounds himself with erotic, I mean exotic, women. Drugs? No problem. No need to pray to the other, older Jesus. He's dead and that brand of religion died with him. In this new and improved version of Christianity, The Man Christ Jesus, as he calls himself, runs a ministry called "Crescendia en Gracia" or "Growing in Grace" and seriously believes he is the living incarnation of Jesus Christ, hand-picked by God and anointed the true Apostle when two angels appeared before him. Before that, he told his flock he was the Apostle Paul. Just like all the Caesars and all the pharoahs, he is the living god! A self-taught, self-anointed one, at that. Hey, time to give myself a promotion. And a raise. This self-proclaimed Son of God is a 60 year old former heroin addict and convict. The divorced father of 4 was born in Puerto Rico and now lives in South Florida with his second wife.

Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda’s message is “freedom to indulge.” He preaches that the devil, hell, and sin are non-existent, prayer is a waste of time, and that the Ten Commandments are irrelevant.

His followers believe they are God’s chosen people, predestined for salvation, no matter what they do on earth. Consequently, the teachings of other religions’ are rejected, believing that all other faiths are lies and must be destroyed, even if Crescendio en Gracia’s marches result in violent consequences. His responses during interviews are crazy: “I am greater than him . . . I teach better than him . . . I won’t die. Even if you tried to kill me! I will be president of the biggest government that this earth has experienced. I’m going to change the whole world.” If he can't die and you can't kill him, as if bullets would bounce off, why does he need bodyguards? His bodyguards act like they work for the U.S. Secret Service. Even his logo looks like the Seal of the United States.


Here is someone who brainwashes the masses, most of whom are from Puerto Rico, and to followers in some 35 nations, mostly in Latin America, and has 287 radio programs and a 24-hour Spanish-language TV network. They lavish him with money and expensive gifts. “I don’t have one Rolex,” de Jesus Miranda said, “I have 3 because they want to give it to me. It’s like that woman that came to Jesus with the expensive perfume and put it on his feet. He didn’t reject it, so when someone gives me a watch or a gift, I receive it. I like them too, they’re nice.

Shades of the Rev. Jim Jones and Jonestown, this man is very scary. Whether you are of any faith, agnostic or atheist, anyone who can gather people and swallow them up in a hysterical, worthless cult, trouble is bound to find its way into the hearts and minds of these senseless followers. I don't care whether one has faith in any god or not. I don't care if one wants to live an indulgent lifestyle. What puzzles me, though, is why would anyone want to pimp his ride? For salvation from sin? Hell, his followers don't believe in that, so what's the point?


  1. My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
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  2. Maybe they secretly believe in sin :)

    We live in the age of The Law of Attraction

    If you believe hard enough it will happen. Sure